june

june is apparently leslie's romantic amnesty month. all my ex-losers are either asking forgiveness or blatantly trying to get in my pants. meanwhile, i'm trying to finish a bunch of projects around the house before my roommate moves in (which means tune into my other blog, http://1702willow.blogspot.com), as well as enjoy my last days of living alone, something that turned out to be much more enjoyable than i had ever imagined.

zeitgiest

i need to blog more, but recently i discovered that journaling is much more important, and is something that i have completely lost touch with. i got a great phone call last night from Jennifer, who is (still) in Madison at UW. I hadn't talked to her for about a year - a good, long conversation, that is, which is something she and I used to share frequently - and it was so weird to sum up the insanity of the past 12 months for her in less than an hour. since i've started to realise that my life is truly a cartoon, and if there was a movie made about me, it would have to be animated, Jennifer's feedback was a lot of "WHAT?!"

anyway, then i went and wrote for a while at Lovejoy's... found tidbits, which prompted me to write notes to people... and delivered said notes on my bike before heading home. i love that it's socially acceptable to go to lovejoy's and just read or write and be in your own head, and not be ostracized for it. and, as par for the course, i made a new friend there last night as well.

synchronicity

since i've moved into my new place (see http://1702willow.blogspot.com), i've been doing a lot of loner-nesting activities, and i find it interesting that a lot of them require the same music i was listening to at the end of my college career, back in new york/brooklyn. part of this im sure is the three or so months i spent living alone in my little apartment in billburg, before said moved in, as well as the inevitable end-of-college holding pattern i was stuck in: all these plans for the future with the insurmountable present getting in the way. all the music i was into at that time has been my choice for listening right now, and i also find (in 20/20 hindsight) that i also opted to to listen to this same stuff at every major transition in my adulthood. so it's on again right now: the fall, devo, joy division, buzzcocks, faces, george harrison, roxy music, etc.

that sets a nice backdrop for right now. i've finally got the i-moved-to-texas-so-im-a-gonna-buy-a-house box checked off, and i have this incredible feeling of freedom, despite the piles of junk mail that now arrive in my mailbox daily, courtesy of the bank, mortgage companies, realtor, and insurance companies involved in this process, and despite the fact that this investment has made me a wage slave until the year 2040. ive also had the fortune recently of meeting someone who is kind of the embodiment of everything i was striving for back when i was preparing to finish college: activism, art, radical politics, good music, middle fingering the man, and crazy leftist-pinko literature. i have to wonder if this chance meeting is part of the universe's bigger plan for me, or if it was a drunk little happenstance to be enjoyed in the moment. in the meantime, i spend my evening giggling over a typewriter, thinking about everything i want to read in semiotext(e) USA, gary indiana, and how infrequently i run into people who can throw down a copy of the TAZ in a moment's notice.

more buuuuu

went to the doctor today... buuuuuu!!! i hate doctors, even though i have health insurance. i always feel like all they tell me is bad news. apparently i need an mri, they need to make sure there's no hemorrhaging, and my "post concussive syndrome" can last up to 8 weeks! this means no bike riding or high-impact sports, no drinking, and no work until they clear me to go. buuuuu!!! this sucks. at least pop ditched work tonight and showed up to hang out. it was nice to have company. we got korean food at koriente, since it was too early for the 10:30 movies at the 'mo. he and momma are taking me to the mri tomorrow, since i had some weird road rage confrontation with some stupid pimply-faced highskoolers on the way home from the doctor today, who cut me off, narrowly missing romy garcia by a hair on the access road, causing me to slam on the brakes and have everything fly off the seat, and then pacing me and shouting things at me like, "how did that feel, huh??? how'd you like it??" while laughing. i think it was some kind of juvenile mental rape thing, like, intentional. i don't get what their goal was, though. it seemed like something you would see on "asshole" on emptyvee. so i decided i would rather have someone else drive me to the doctor tomorrow. less risky.

i still feel shitty overall. buuuuu!!!

buuuu concussion

i'm back in atx ahead of time. this is cos my lame ass let myself get whacked in the back of the head with my surfboard on tuesday afternoon at playa maderas. duuhhhh. it wasn't bad at the time; however, four hours later, at a screening of a documentary about the US media's
coverage of the contra war, i started to feel shitty and it quickly escalated to almost passing out and falling over on the sidewalk. once i got comfy on the ground, tho, i felt a lot better. there was a lot of drama and slapstick - a car ride offered to an itty-bitty clinic in san juan, panicked phone calls to family, joking around with the clinic staff en español, etc. however, the next day i felt way worse and didn't think i would be getting better any soon, so i changed my ticket and flew home thursday, and mom picked me up at the aeropuerto and took me to the ER immediately for what amounted to a sobriety test, a ct scan, and three hours of forced starvation ("in case she needs surgery"). the doctors here told me what i already figured: i have a concussion, and will feel lousy for a few weeks.

i went back to ma and pa's that night in kyle, instead of staying at home. this was b/c my dog was still with them, and also they had food and i had none at home. so we got in around midnight; friday was, of course, thrilled to see me; i enjoyed a late nite grilled cheese; and got to bed late. i got to see pa in the morning, too. waking up there was great. it's really nice to live near your parents when you're sick or out of commission. it's been a while since i've been able to take advantage of their proximity. i got pancakes and bacon for breakfast that day, and mom has offered to make me the casserole of my choice for the week.

so now i'm kinda bored. i can't do much, cos most movement makes me feel dizzy and weird and kinda nauseous. it's been nice to sleep long hours in my own bed, though, and not get woken by roosters at 4am, as i was in nicaragua. for the most part i've been reading, listening to music, and watching dvds. i can't wait to get back on my bike and go swim at barton springs.

the only thing raining on my parade

This song plays everywhere, all the time, in this country. i fucking HATE it:

pain, lots of it

an inventory of recent injuries:

1. bee sting. i am allergic to bee stings and most bites from insects. after a 4-5 mile hike outside of estelí and into the mountains south of town to find a 100-foot waterfall, i was chilling by the swimming hole and this weird bee-like thing stung me for no reason. it hurt like hell and appropriately swelled up to nectarine size, all pink and tight and shiny, for several days.

2. achy leg muscles. nothing like a long hike up a mountain or volcano to make your legs hurt like hell for a while. i hiked out between matagalpa and jinotega, in the coffee-growing region with matthew, this guy from colorado. the selva negra is rainforest7cloud forest with howler monkeys, quetzales, bromeliads, and lots of butterflies. we took the "difícil" trail and i rode some down on my ass in the mud (everything was muddy). that was days ago and my thighs still hurt like hell. we also got drenched in the rain on the 2 km walk back to the highway to catch the chicken bus back to matagalpa.

3. learning to surf. i am really glad i came down to san juan del sur before committing to a plane ticket to the corn islands. the carribean is cool, but i would rather hurt like hell and have some cool bruises to show off when i get home, more than just a tan. yesterday i rented a board and siim, my estonian friend, showed me what to do. it was awesome! i actually stood up once too, before giving up - i was beat, and by the second time i went out my hips, ribs, and knees hurt like hell, mostly i think from scrambling onto the board like i was going to die otherwise (which is how i approached it the first two hours). apparently the swell was jinormous yesterday (two guys had their boards broken at the bay i was at), and will die down this week, so i will just get easier. dinner last night was difficult, involving me groaning whenever i stood up or sat down, and this morning i discovered i have an impressive selection of symmetrical bruises on all body parts listed above. can't wait to go do it again today! confidential to rizpreez: chill out. i'm never in water over my head and it's really not that dangerous or difficult, and i am leashed to the board, which floats. and i'm in a bay, not out on the ocean.